Examine room.

Your name is Dirk.Holy SHIT do you love PUPPETS.You possess the extreme dexterity to operate your FALSE FRIENDS UNSEEN, that is, when they are not pre-ambulatory through your LOVINGLY IMBUED MECHANIZATION. You dig writing COGNITIVE ALGORITHMS FOR SAID APOCRYPHAL MEN, and you think maybe that's FUCKIN' DOPE. Guess what else is dope? Everything ELSE YOU DO. You're a sickwicked autodidact on ANCIENT CIVILIZATIONS, a selfmade MASTER OF MYTHOLOGUE, and a PRETERNATURAL POPCULTURE ACADEME.If you weren't so DAMN ALOOF and actually let people GET A LOAD, you might get described all kindsa ways. Maybe tagged as a RENAISSANCE NINJA, PHILOSOPHER PRINCE, and FLASHSTEP PUPPETEER. Or perhaps a PANTHEONIC IRONICIST, GANGSTA LOGICIAN, LUCID WAKER and DERSITE SPY. Screw descriptors though, as if the shits you give ain't nil. You're cool with dabbling in the FINE SEQUENTIAL ARTS, and your work could be viewed by some as BORDERLINE PORNOGRAPHIC. And to those philistines you'll be heard wondering, what the fuck do you mean BORDERLINE?Against the better judgment of one your age, you BUILD ROBOTS, SET THEM TO KILL MODE, AND SPAR WITH THEM TO DEATH. That is, when you're not SENDIFICATING THEM TO FRIENDS, or DUELING THEM WITH RAP LYRICS. But you try to cool it on the deathmatch stuff when your BRO is looking, which is virtually NEVER. And considering he's had a reputation staked on some order of MARTIAL NOBILITY, this strikes you as a STAGGERING OVERSIGHT IN BROTHERLY VIGILANCE. You don't have the HEART to hold it against him, though.What will you do?

> Dirk: Let the reader know what they're strapping in for.

Start Overㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Start Game | Auto-Save | Load Game | Delete Game Data

Dirk: Let the reader know what they're strapping in for.

Wacky hijinks. Crazy skylarking. Didoes to be found at every bend and turn. Do you think you're ready for this shit? I don't, quite frankly.

> Dirk: Get this fucking party started.

Start Overㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Start Game | Auto-Save | Load Game | Delete Game Data

Dirk: Get this fucking party started.

Sorry haha, this is just a fucking get to know me type Carrd. Sorry for fucking with you, dear viewer.

> Dirk: Offer up the real meat of this Carrd.

Start Overㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Start Game | Auto-Save | Load Game | Delete Game Data

Dirk: Offer up the real meat of this Carrd.

Yo. Evidently, my name is DIRK STRIDER, and I'm one studious fucker. This is gonna be the second home landing page of this Carrd, so the "Start Over" button is gonna link to this page instead of the #examine-room as it previously did. If you really wanna backtrack that fucking far in this experience, I've circumspectly got your back, freak. Just click the "Start Game" link instead. All other buttons will do the same shit they did before. Good luck, reader (o7).

> Dirk: Show your interests.
> Dirk: Make your DNI and INT apparent.
> Dirk: Include a general run-down of who you are.

Start Over ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤStart Game | Auto-Save | Load Game | Delete Game Data

Dirk: Show your interests.

I've a myriad of shit I'm kinda into, canon and non-canon, but I'll try to whip up a compacted, digestible version of my interests.
I like to make CARRD's, and I'm somewhat of a PONY TOWN ENTHUSIAST. DESIGNING SHIT is basically what I'm fond of doing in my free time, of which is ample.
I'm only HUMAN so I cherish music with a FIENDISH ADMIRANCE. If you're a fan of the following artists, you're CERTAFIABLY COOL AS FUCK: Tyler the Creator, Childish Gambino, SZA, Lil Peep, Joji, Peach Pit, Hozier, Brent Faiyaz, Biggie and The Weeknd (wow, this assortment of artists CERTIFIABLY LAME in hindsight. I've got new shit tucked beneath my mellifluous belt aside from Tyler the Coonator and Fetishist Gambino. I still pump Joji though. Anyway, this section will be updated eventually or I'll pass away during the process. -2026 Dirk). I listen to J-POP as well, but I'm not well versed enough in that genre to harbor any particular ecstasy for an artist (I bop to Sheena Ringo now. -2026 Dirk).
Some of my CANON INTERESTS are anime, rap, and technology. I play PJSK, both ENSEKAI and JPSEKAI. I fucking love RUI KAMISHIRO, EMU OTORI and AN SHIRAISHI. I'm a huge fucking fan of SMART PHONES and their ilk. If you want to test my cellular device knowledge, feel free to send me a random image of a phone's camera system, and I'll postulate the make and model from only that. If you're in the market for any of the following tech, fucking hit me up so I can succor you through the expansive catalog of options: Smart phones, laptops, tablets and headphones.
I watch YOUTUBE. Big fucking deal. Here are some of my notable YouTubers: Danny, Drew, Kurtis (you know EXCATLY who I'm referring to), MKBHD, CoryxKeshin, NileRed/NileBlue, brutalmoose, Adam Ragusea, At Lojart, Jawbreaker Juice, ikoxun, Jake Doubleyoo and Chad Chad.
I partake in the enjoyment of STATIONARY, especially that of UNIQUE PENS and BYZATINE MECHANICAL PENCILS.
Homestuck. 'Nuff said. Vast Error. 'Nuff said.
There's a hell of a lot more shit than just the crap I included in this digest, but you'll just have to strike up a conversation with me to snatch a glimpse of the rest.

Start Overㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Start Game | Auto-Save | Load Game | Delete Game Data

Dirk: Make your DNI and INT apparent.

Let's just cut to the chase.DNI:
Basic DNI criteria, emphasis on racist.
You're genuinely stupid, ignorant, or naive.
You're easily slighted (this is for your own damn good). You've a penchant for inciting drama for no god damn reason.
You're under the age of 18 and you claim to be a system or assert you're professionally diagnosed in that regard. Sorry bro, you're full of shit thirteen times outta fifteen, and you're likely fifteen as well.
You're chronically online. We won't mix well.
INT if:
You enjoy the same shit I do.
You're intelligent. I'm attracted to you.
You're a decent human being who isn't any of the shit listed above.
I'm not a strenuous guy to appease. Swear I can be amiable if you're not a fucking loser.

Start Overㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Start Game | Auto-Save | Load Game | Delete Game Data

Dirk: Include a general run-down of who you are.

Sup. Name's DIRK STRIDER, but you're already keenly aware of that. My name everywhere is TurnedUpTech (turneduptech for Discord (if you want to add me, please tell me your username prior to doing so. I've procured so many requests from mystery strangers)). I'm nineteen years old currently, but that's subject to change next year. I'm slightly vulgar innately, sometimes intentionally or irregularly not. I have a slew of mental disorders that inhibit neurotypical thought processes such as BPD and autism. Plurality isn't an interloper in this conversation either. I'm a black dude bodily, and I'm black in the headspace as well. That doesn't mean your white Strider headcanon ain't canon, because as far as I'm concerned, canon Dirk and Dave ARE white (I can get down with a melantated Strider, though). Since I'm black, I can say the n-word, and I might sometimes, but I use it sparingly. I use the hard "R" because I find it funnier, but if you don't like that, you can let me know and I'll shit on you prior to using the "A" variant. Occasionally, I'll make some racist ass jokes against my own kind. Don't find yourself impressed to believe that I'm a coon, though. I ain't and I loathe them. If you're white, you shouldn't be rebuffed by them, but I can stop if I care enough about you being uncomfortable or some shit, regardless of your race. You can't change my mind on a premise unless I heavily respect you, so meandering arguments with me are discouraged. I rarely apologize due to my HUBRIS, my fatal HAMARTIA. I'm not a fan of emotions outside of ANGER and PLACIDITY. I can be a marginally sensual dude at times, but trust me, it ain't indicative of anything outside of an attempt to arouse a guffaw outta someone. That's pretty much it. Take care, reader.

Start Over ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤStart Game | Auto-Save | Load Game | Delete Game Data